Selamat hari raya saya ucapkan kepada semua pembaca blog cetusanminda ini. Semoga kita menjadi lebih baik dan mengenal diri kita selepas keluar dari madrasah ramadhan.
p/s: belum lagi berasa mood raya.raya di rantau orang…
Maka tahun ini saya beraya di Miri. Baru first time beraya jauh dari family. Jadi tahun ini tak lah berasa sangat excited.Buat excited tu mungkin[ nak masak itu dan ini lah dengan kawan-kawan] ,tapi hati tak betul berasa gembira nak beraya. Rasa biasa macam hari yang lain. Mungkin kerana itu lah orang kata “home is not a question of where,but who”.Bila tak beraya bersama Mama, Abah dan dua adik perempuan saya, raya ini tak berasa begitu mengancam.
Tapi insyaAllah saya akan beraya dengan agak proper. Ikut nya ada field lagi. Bukan dengan team sendiri tapi dengan lecturer untuk ikut project dia. Tapi nasib baik tak kena waktu raya.Fuhhh!
Sem ni akan jadi sem terakhir untuk saya di Miri. Kalau saya kerja di tempat lain, maka mungkin tahun terakhir di Miri juga. Sebab itu nak cuba lah beraya di Miri.
Hari itu waktu solat Jumaat,ustaz Nasru, khatib jemputan masjid lutong beri khutbah. Apa makna merdeka. Dalam konteks menyambut hari raya. Apa erti merdeka itu? Kita suka merayakan merdeka. Kena lagi dengan sambutan raya aidilfitri tahun ini.Memang merdeka raya. Tapi dapatkah kita kenal pengertian sebenar merdeka?
Sudah bebaskah dan merdekakah kita dari dosa?
Sudah bebaskah kita dari nafsu yang terus menghambat?
Adakah kita merayakan kemeriahan dengan bertambah dosa kita?
Soalan yang saya tanya diri saya.
Apa pun, kejarlah ramadhan yang masih lagi tinggal berapa hari ni.
p/s: Ramadhan ini ,diri terasa sangat hina…..
yang mengenali saya, jika saya tak balas message elalui hp,jangan marah.Number dah tak guna lagi.Tapi akan try ambil balik number lama.
Aim for perfection.It will always changing but let you be the one who change it. Set your own record. Build your own status. In whatever you do, try to achieve perfection. And never feels satisfied. Always believe that you can do better. You will not achieve perfection.No, but you do something better than that. You raise the bar for anyone to follow. You create a history and not merely a character in it. Dare to believe!! Believe that you can always do better.
You can only have two option :
2.Be very good.
If you think you are good, there will always be somebody better than you. So, keep up and move!!There is no room to mess up because there are ‘wolves’ who are waiting to make you as their feast.
And always be careful
Do not waste time for useless ranting and critics as there were no statues ever built for critics, but keep the good one close with you even it hurts. Good critics are much better than dishonest praise.
Always be confident even the world seems to be against you.Do not easily trust but keep the trust when you had believe and see the evidence.
And never lost your sense of humor.
And most importantly, believe in Allah.
And be good.
Be very good!!
Salam. Last 2 weeks ago,I attend another fieldtrip. I think almost every week I went for fieldtrip. Maybe during Raya I will takbir raya besides all the rocks that I hammered with “berlinangan air mata”.However, this one is different than ordinary fieldtrip. Because the target of the fieldtrip is to circle and map the mountain. Not climbing the mountain but circling it. You know what it means? Yup, going into thick jungle with no clue what is inside, no trails and not very much experience.
I am lucky my abah used to bring me to jungle when I was a kid. He brought me hunting with his friends. But most of the time at the oil palm plantation. He taught me atleast basic of jungle. Like jungle trails, fruits that can be eat or not and such things like that.
I dont have much experience but remembering what abah had told me before,and with GPS in hand, I found our way out. O, forgot to tell, my role is to scrambling in front to find or make way out. So, it is quite dangerous. I am quite afraid if I meet any wild boars , snakes or harimau dahan. But yea, atleast some common sense and being vigilant at all time save your life.
So, we managed to map the mountain and also in addition we manage to map and complete the cave that we map before. The locals said we are doing crazy things. Yup, it was crazy. But it was really worth it. I love those kind of things. I love caving.I REALLY LOVE CAVING.. I love going into the jungle. I love trekking and hiking. You know, things that gives you sense of not knowing and you terribly want to know. Things that gives you extra shot of adrenaline.
Things that makes you want something more. I read it somewhere, those kind of feeling is a kind of depression. But in many ways it is good.You know, greed for glory. Atleast , it will never make you stop doing something good. Maybe it is the source of my enthusiasme when I am really fix into something.
This week I went again.Yesterday.But to the quarry in Niah. With our HOD,Dr Franz and my supervisor, Dr Dominique.and Abbas.My classmate.It seems almost every weekend is full with fieldtrip. The lecturers give a hint that there will be another fieldwork,somewhere far… and I hope not to join for that.But if they ask, I will definitely in. Just another 1 weekend with adventure, it should be fun and lots of knowledge to gain.
Well,yesterday, I got a few samples for myself.Corals, Calcite, Calcite vein.That fieldtrip is for a project for an oil company. Although I dont gain any monetary benefit ,it is really a trip full with knowledge. You know, if you want to be the best, learn from the best. I want to be an expert as an exploration geologist/petroleum geologist. So, I need to learn from the best in the field. Learning in the class is never enough. I am not good with exam. But in the field, I think atleast I know what I must do.
Yup…. That is about the trip.
Well, the trip taught me alot. I learn from the forest, that we must respect the jungle. Not by means of giving alms or any rituals. No. Just respect. Dont just easily cut the trees and think that you know everything about the jungle. Sometime, the forest can plays with you in many ways that you really dont want to be played with.
And respect the rock.Respect the Earth.
The earth is also one of Allah’s creation. So,respect it as how you respect fellow human.
Well, I also learn from the people around me. Especially my families. I have lots of people which I know. But I may not talking about all of them as it will be a long essay. But you guys must know that I love you all and I learn a lot from all of you.
Mama- My mom. Fatimah Sidik. She is the strongest woman ever. The most caring. I learn about compassion from her. And I learn that knowledge is everything. She said to 3 of us ,her children, that she didnt have anything to left behind. If she have any, it will be one day gone.. So what is left is knowledge. That is why I appreciate knowledge above all. And I really feels insulted if anyone gives a very stupid statement that he/she think it is knowledgeable. She taught me to seize every opportunity. Never stops learning. Trying to be the best at every time. Always work to be number 1. I learn to work hard from her.Nothing can beat hard work. I learn that life are not always easy but you can make it easy if you can stand the turbulence and the hardship. Always trust Allah. Never forget the Solah[pray].
Abah- My abah was an enterpeaneur. He is not a big businessman but he at least never stops to improve his status. Abah and mama are like a dynamic team. Well, every parents are.He does not talk too much. From him, I learn about friendship and how it is important to make friends in every places. There is nothing we can loose in having lots of friends. One time , I accompanied him to visit his friend in hospital.In HKL. His friend is a single old man and had been diagnosed of cancer in final stage. Not married. Dont have any kids. So,he is all alone. So , abah came to the hospital. And have conversation with his friend. That is when he know that no one ever come and he is the first one had come to visit. And just after we walk out of the door, my abah straightly called his friends in our hometown an next few days, many of them come to visit the ailing friend. He is also very kind with people.He taught me to think before I am doing something. He taught me to be kind with people.Be merciful. Of which I always fail.
Well, if I want to write about everything what I learn from them, it will be a novel. So, I just write what I learn most.
Pak cik – He is my teacher. I met him about 3 1/2 years ago. In an arabic language class. Then , one of my senior bring me for a discussion. And that is when I really meet him and get to know him. As I stated in my previous post, I’m not to trust easily. So,whatever he taught me, I check it back. And I always ask what I felt too suspicious and what I confused. And at every time, he answer accordingly to what I need.Not that just knowledge but to what may solve my problem.I learn from him to be ikhlas. To do everything for Allah. I learn to be committed to what we are doing.I learn from him that whatever it may become, work for Allah. Always bring kindness and Islam to people. He have gout problem, but it doesnt stop him to move around and preach.
I always stayed at his house for a week every semester break and that is where I learn much from his life. He is a living proof of someone who practice Islam.In every aspect of his life. A professional engineer by profession.. A man who breaks the stereotype of an Islamist who people will always have in mind to be a man wearing jubah,serban and all kind of stuff and talk and walk slowly. No,he definitely not that. That is what I learn from him that Islam is not on what you wear but who you really are and how you practice Islam as minhajul hayah.
He always said to me : ” Tajul,kita bukan bawa orang kepada kita.Tapi kepada Islam. Kalau anta jumpa ada yang bawak lagi tepat dari ana bawak,nta pergilah ikut dia .Dan ana pun akan ikut juga. “
I learn much about Islam from him.Not only from what he said in his teaching but from his own life.I learn about sacrifice for Islam. I learn that we must have strategy and must learn to see the situation and not just agree with people. From him I know to say no to what I am not agree with. I put my trust on him. And I believe ,if you learn what I learn, you will do the same.
He is the man who change me , who sincerely guide me . I am a kid. I am no one to him. And worst from all, I am a lousy,bad guy years ago. A kid that have done bad things and many have seen me as not as a good guy.I am not that much into Islam during my early years as it seems not come into my logic.For me Islam is about tauhid and praying only.To have spiritual identity.But not more than that.I learn Quran.I read and emorize hadith but the understanding of Islam is just that for me. I dont believe in Islam as solution for government .Yup,that was me.And then come this man.He is there to guide me at every step that I take until I become a man I am today.He answer each my questions according to what I really need..And he never ask to have anything back in return. and I felt very lucky to have a teacher like him.And truthfully, if he is going down, I am the one who will be just behind his back whatever will happen.
Dr Franz- Well,he is not really close to me but he indeed influence my life in many ways. He is my HOD. But personally, I learn so much from him.There are several times that we went for fieldtrip together and he shared a lot of his experiences.Stories and ideas that I found very valuable. Of which is like pearls coming out from every words he said.Because it is his own life experience.His success and failures. He teach me to be enthusiastic,to always be curious,to be smart and sharp, to be kind and to be confident with what you believe in. He once said to me ” you are enthusiastic,you have curiosity.That is enough for me.That is what I want from my student. You might be slow but it is ok.” Truthfully, I want to be an expert like him. Have a status like him where no one can mess with you. I always asked him about job perspective and he gives many advice and he said ” you are young and maybe one day when you are in the industry you will really know what you really want. Right now, I want to be an expert in this field. And right now I know what I want. But 5 years from now, I might think back what he said.
Dr Dominique- She is my supervisor. Many dubbed her as too fussy. But I think, after working with her for the whole semester, I am being more like her. She taught me not to easily trust what you read and your data. Always check your work. Not easily trust your method but check again until it is perfect.Read!! Read from many sources. Trust yourself. That is what I learn. And day by day, I think I become more like her. Become more careful and always give more. Give the best.Give the perfect work. Giving a lousy work is just as bad as not doing your job. And being extremely careful with what and who you trust. That is why when my teammate said “oh,the other group do like this and that” I am not easily buying that. I checked again and again until I believe and can get the logic. Because I think I had been indoctrinate by her to trust myself more. And I glad to be like that.
For me, I want to be an expert like Dr Franz and as careful and good as Dr Dominique. Well, both of them are the lecturers who really influnce my intellectual attitude and I give credits to them for what I achieved and what I will achieved in my professional future.
Well,that is all for now.I hope you can learn from the people of my life as how I did learn from them.
Assalam. Howdy guys!! I try to write in English for this entry. My grammar is bad but I still know the difference between grammar and grandma.I still believe you can understand what I am writing.. So,pardon me for my bad english.
I just came back from a 3 days excursion. Last 2 weeks, I met my HOD in front of surau. He is asking me about the additional assignment that he gave my group. Taking samples for him in a quarry in Niah. Well, we’ve done that and that was really killing us. I think the temperature there was more than 200 centigrade. With all the hot sun and the invisible rays. But back to the story, so he said that he will be going to Batu Gading for a carbonate project and me, looks curious and innocently inquisitive try to ask some stuff about carbonate.
For you who are not really knowing me, I’m quite a rock-freak. I can easily be excited when I am in the field and seeing new things. Or I found new ideas. So, he offer me to tag along.
So, there it is. Me, Dr Franz ,Dr Nagarajan and Abbas[my classmate]. I’m the youngest.The noob. Dr Franz is abour 50 years old.Dr Naga and Abbas I assume reaching 40. And I am just 22.
Dr Franz is a Germany.Dr Naga comes from India and Abbas from Iraq.From the era of Saddam Hussein and Post-Saddam. You know, the contry where Muslim brothers killing each other because they couldnt agree that the on that they should kill is the Allied forces who came and destroy their nation..They all come from countries with big histories.And each of them have huge experiences in life.. Can you imagine how I feel.Well, the picture below shows everything.
We went to Batu Gading in Friday. Batu Gading is situated in Long Lama. 5 hours journey by the department Nissan 4WD. Dr Franz brought his family because we are also going to his wife’s kampung. She is a Kayan lady.
So, we reach there around maghrib. The place was just a rice hut belongs to Madam’s Maureen[Dr Franz’s wife] sister. Just a small hut. With no electricity and no pipe water supply. And no celcom lines. You imagine that. I thought living my life without facebook and internet is bad enough. But this is no problem for me.
So, we arrived there and pack-out our bags and tools. And later we had our dinner. Just simple kampung dish. Fish and rice. It taste real nice.The fish were so fresh.And the family is so friendly. I do jama Isya and maghrib prayer and they allocate me a special corner to pray.
And that night, because of no electricity, that means no other entertainment,so we spend our whole night from 7 to 12 ,talking about politics, religion and life experiences.
We talk about the Arab Uprising, the Egypt revolution, the Iraq war, Malaysia’s politics and many stuff. There was one time when he questioned synically about Jihad. At some point I am agree with him where there are people who read the same holy scripture but interpetrate it loosely or to support their cause.
I am into Jihad.If one day war come to my country, or one day there will be a caliph and he instruct me to go to war, I will go.But that is different than go to a peaceful place and bomb the innocence children and women. If it is need for me to kill other man of the war for protecting my faith , Islam and the Muslim country, I will. If I am in Palestine, I will. I am a munafiq if I’m not.But provoking other countries, killing innocence people, that is not Islam to me in any ways. And what I had learn from the man that I called my teacher, it will never be a Muslim way.
A Muslim war is a gentleman’s war. We will never poison the water supply. We will not harm the innocence children and women. We will not kill the old. We are advised not to take slaves and need to free them. We cannot cut down the farms. And we will never force the people to embrace Islam but only to accept the kindness and peace that it brings. That is what I told my HOD when we talk.
I do have some kind of habit not to easily agree. My team mates said that I always object what my lecturers said. I am no clever. But when I really know something, I couldnt stand to hear and listen to something that is I cannot agree with except I have definite reason to believe. I have problem respecting what people saying . This is because I have problems to respect people. Respect and being polite is different. I could be polite to everyone. But I only respect experiences and knowledge.
There was one time when I met this man before he become my teacher, I doubt what he said. Yes, I listen to him because all of it is new things to me. It took me a year to trust him. I check what he said and what he teach me from the haraki books that I could found. One time when he told me about the Usul Isyrin, I checked it again to see wether he is telling the truth or not. And the point when I give my full trust on him is when I stayed at his house for many days during the holiday and I see from my own eyes what a man he is, and how his family is.No one can fake his life for too long. So, that is the time I know he is a very honest person who is willing to sacrifice anything for Islam.And if he is going down, I want to be the one who is just behind his back going down with him anywhere he will brings me.
I am a man like that. That might be my weaknesses.I used to been advice by my friends that sometimes I look down upon others. Not that I because I am arrogant, but I have trust issue if it comes to knowledge. But then again, I’m not an intelligent person if you want to check me on my exam result.
Continue our conversation, I said, only the honest can make an honest interpretation for the scripture. Well, we had seen with our eyes the case of Rasul Melayu Haji Kahar and Ayah Pin. They read the same verses in Quran but they claimed they are the God. They are the messenger. You see how destructive it can be if honesty is not applied.
From what I learn from my respected teacher, he said that level of man can be divide into :
You see how high a mukhlisin,an honest person is in Islam. A mukhlisin will not take bribes or take the people’s money if he is on highest hierarchy of power.
A mukhlisin will hold the dunya on his hand but in his heart only Allah with him. A mukhlisin knows that he must be very careful because Allah will asked him one day what had he done for everything that had been entrusted upon him.
That is a mukhlisin. An honest person. Honest is still downgrade compared to a mukhlisin. That is like a super duper honest with nothing you can compare of.
After the hot conversation, we came to conversation about experiences. Well , I dont have anything to talk about as I am still a kid compared to them. I learn a lot how to be a good employee. I learn from Dr Franz about morals and work etiquette. It sounds hillarious when he told us about some incidents happen in Shell during his work.
I take my oppurtunity to ask his advice for my career. I will be graduating this sem,insyaAllah. So , yes ., he did told me lots of things.What company is good and what is not.
But the most important lesson is :
1.Knows what you want. If you want to stay in your country, marrying a beautiful girl and live peacefully with the childrens, than find a quiet job that dont let you to travel. But if you are wiling to experience the world, go abroad.
2. I quoted directly from him, ” Tajul, if one day you work abroad, dont mess around with girls. Girls can never be cute, They rarely are cute.Maybe. But the moment she become too cute, there is something wrong with the picture…………” and this conversation continue to an extent that I dont need to tell it here. I think you get the picture. He advice me about marriages rather than carreer. And yes, I do learn from him. Be careful with your choice. It maybe looks simple, but usually it is not.
For me, in career view, I want to be like him. I admired him since he teach me in my 2nd year. He is a geologist that have his own class. No one can mess around with him because of respect of his experience and knowledge. I am not respecting a person because of his position but I admired experience and knowledge. I sometime shaking myself with anxiousness talking with him and my teacher who I mentioned earlier.
Well, we continue our conversation but each of them are very meaning ful. You see, talking with educated people with vast experience is a lot more difference that talking with some one who doesnt read. We can talk ideas and idealisme without loose our respect. We can talk about the embrassing memories that we have without being ashamed of it because we know they are the experience that need to be inherited to the younger generation. It is a very high conversation in a very odd place;inside a jungle.
So, then the next day, without taking a bath, we went to the field. It was situated about an hour from the hut. We need to use ferry over Baram river to get into the quarry. So, I and Abbas, become the noob of all of us becomes the guy who breaks the rocks and put it into sample bags without doing too much talking. After all I will not talk if I dont know what I want to talk about. I do read about the area’s geology before I was going but pure reading is so much different thatn experience that they have. They are like the interpretor for the rock, telling how they were born and how they form. I took my chance to ask lots of question.
You can see me geting crazy when I am in fields. Never stop asking questions and always run to find a good sample of rock. That is me. My friend, Aiman, said dont be too excited when I am in the field but I cannot help it.My curiosity take over my body.
Next , after the tiring work, we went to the Long Lama town to pack the rocks. Atleast, a bit of civilization. When I was working to pack the rocks, my HOD said to me ; ” Tajul, I wouldnt dare to ask you but it will be not polite if I’m not…Do you want beer?” Hahahahah. Seriously, that does not irritate me but it certainly seems funny.Well, the way he offers. He is a huge guy with broad smiles. You can imagine that. I decline. Of course.But beer and geologist can never be apart. I mean non-muslim geologist. It is like a geologist culture.
After having our meal, we went to another outcrop. Just for a visit. To find metamorphic boundaries in Rajang fm. The best part is, we couldnt find the quartz that we want to find in the outcrop but we found it when we take our bath in the river nearby. We took like 2 hours having fun in the river. It was good. I found myself a few good samples to bring back for my collections and the findings are remarkable.
We straightly went back and again have our conversartion while waiting for dinner. Being with educator, it will be mistake if I am not asking about studies. Well, both the lecturers told us about our friends performance, our junior , the first and second year student..with all the troubles they had.. How caring the lecturers are. They are teaching honestly. Prepare us to the world which is coming.The world of working adult.I learn the qualities that they want for a geologist.
Being me, I couldnt stop asking ,so I start my conversation ;” but Doctors, I am a lousy geologist. I couldnt even make a simple theory right.” Before I could finish my question, Dr Franz said ” You certainly are Tajul.But you have curiousity and enthusiasme. That are only the two qualities that I need. Intelligent could get you somewhere. But with those qualities, you can reach where you want but you might be slow.But that is still ok”
I am writing this not to brag about myself but if you are reading this experience and how they teach me and share to me, you could understand that you can never stop being curious. Never stops to want to learn. Once you stop questioning, your life will stop to abyss of darkness.I hate it when people dont read or dont seems to interested on something . It makes me frustrated.I also learns that from my FYP supervisor; Dr Dominique..And I hate it when other people stops someone to ask a good question. But a stupid idiotic question asked just to create nonsensical laugh deserve a good kick in the face.
Then we stop for dinner. Guess what they offer ; Musang masak cili api, tenggiling masak sambal and porcupine masak sambal. Luckily they still have fish. If not , I will be die starving that night. After performing my prayers, we have a sape show from the family and a bit of ngajat dance then I go straight to sleep.
The next day, as we finish our work , we just go straight back to campus. We depart around 1 and along the way, the HOD talks again about his experiences and ask me about our seniors. Yep, I learn again what the lecturers see on his students. Well, we always blame the lecturer but if we are them we want to our student atleast to be a competent geologist. So, why become angry. The work is for us to become more better.Well, my senior wherever you are, if you are reading this, they are quite missing you guys. So, if you are coming to Miri, visit them. It will be very great to share your experiences.
Well, there are still lots that I dont write here. But I think this might be the stuff needed for a tazkirah from the experience I had.It was a short 3 days trip.But certainly a meaningful one!!!
Telah sampai waktunya untuk bertemu Kekasih tercinta.
Bersindiri denganNya pada waktu yang mulia.
Moga Dia tersenyum melihat aku kelak.
sudah list kn target untuk perubahan pada puasa ini. Moga saya berjaya. Saya mahu berubah. Saya mahu menjadi seorang Muslim yang benar.